Public Transit and the Jumper

While I am all for public transit, its ability to haul a large number of us human cattle to and from places and its huge role in saving the environment, it doesn't always work in practice

It doesn't work when there are general delays or some nut bar jumps in front of a train or cold weather freezes signals or I can't get a goddamn seat. Don't get me wrong, if some sucker throws himself on the track and I have my ass planted comfortably with my tunes playing, life isn't bad. Now put me in the same situation at the end of a long day with no seat and 1 hour trip that is exponentially longer due to the sad lump of human goo on the rails, I'm not happy.

This might sound like I don't care about the goo, and you would be correct for the most part, as it is a sad thing when someone offs himself, but shit, you're wrecking my day and others as well you selfish bugger. So what is the answer to this? More mental health counseling for the masses? More social assistance? No, more seats on the trains. Plain and simple let me sit and relax and everyone can rest easy.

Tonight I sat stuck on the subway because apparently some sad sack decided to chuck himself on the tracks, making me miss my desired GO train by 15 minutes, At this point in time though all was good, I had a seat on the "Rocket" and my trusty tunes to get me by the impatience. When I get to Union Station late, I walk around waiting for my train as are all the others that missed the same desired train I had hoped to catch. I didn't factor in these cattle and so I get to the platform, amongst the herd and get on my car like a good Lemming only to find I have no seat. To top it off, we all trudged in the winter slop, so you can't sit on the steps.

So to the sad fucker who took the swan dive, life has its challenges, but you have to suck it up. If you can't make it, do it somewhere else, because "your statement" only puts others out and your selfishness shines through making a short period in others lives miserable. Was that your goal?

In all my genius, I whip out the morning paper from my bag, plant it on the floor and VOILA...a seat, that after 10 minutes froze my butt. Anyway I am writing this as I sit on the steps that I have cleverly covered while all the other sheep stand......bbbaaaahahhhhahhahah.

If you could only see the faces of the corporate slaves, praying they have picked the car that will empty the quickest, thereby allowing their trouser bumps to score a seat. Let the competition begin.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It’s the first day of the New Year, and as “quick” (i.e. 6+ weeks) as it came, it went out in a flash. The spending, the stress, the chaos that is the holiday season is over and now it is time to deal with the aftermath; more junk in the house, a little more debt and a bigger waistline. So, in traditional fashion, it is time for the New Year’s resolution to begin undoing all of your wrongs of the previous year.

We’ve all been there; you will eat better, you will exercise, you will spend less, you will save a bit each month for next Christmas…feel free to add your own. For the most part, people view a new year as a chance to start again and you can interpret “start again” however it fits you. I have been at this point for some 20 years of my adult life and I don’t think I’ve ever made good on any of my resolutions for more than a few days, weeks or months. Will this year be any different? I would like to say yes, but in my typical self-defeating posture, I know it won’t.

Case in point, only moments into the new year I broke the eating better resolution with a(n) (un)healthy plate of sausage rolls and cheese cubes. Way to go resolve, you let me down again. Damn, it was tasty though. Puffed pastry stuffed with pork and cheese on the side, what better way to crash and burn. Then it is fried eggs and ham for breakfast. Hopefully I remember the Christmas resolutions 11 months from now, because the eating seems in a precarious position.

Despite all the stress and headaches, it was a pretty good holiday season, I can’t really complain. I have my health, my wife, my kids, a good job, a roof over my head and food on the table, so I can’t really be richer.

Happy New Year to all!!!!